Coming Back To My Life

Peter Bigstone

My name is Peter Bigstone. I'm a full-blood Assiniboin from Stoutness, Saskatchewan.

My grandfather got shot as a little boy. His mother fell on top of him to guard him when he got shot on the buttocks. He got shot and my grandmother fell on top of him and they shot her. They shot him and he was underneath my grandma. I don't know how, but shot his finger right off. That's why Nabeksi, Nabemoksabe, you know. Nabemoksabe he got shot, blasted right off his little pinky finger

When he was a young man he was a very spiritual man because he was a lodge keeper. A lodge keeper that he made sun dances when he came back and he held ceremonies. He was a healer. He used a hand in the power of prayer in his native language, Assiniboine.

Grandfather taught me a lot of songs. They're songs that are passed on to me so I can pass them down to other people.

I lived with my grandfather since I was seven years old. Seven years old and I started to learn how to ride horseback, look after myself and hunt. He taught me how to hunt, eh? Taught me how to hunt and he taught me how to make a bow. He taught me how to shoot a bow and all those things about animals and their ways, and character, physical values in everyday living with the animal kingdom. He taught me a lot of that and I learned. I've learned a lot of things to live with nature. I've learned lots of things in the medicinal values in plants. I've learned lots of that. I've learned how to hunt. I've learned how to manage my life in a spiritual way and emotional way. You know to take care of myself in those four ways, you know. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically and mentally.

A lot of stories that come to mind is how my grandfather lived in the old ways. He was one of the that I looked up to after my mom and dad parted ways. Grandfather used to say, "My grandson, don't worry because they'll get back together." I never thought about it until after my mom and dad went their ways for thirty years. They got back together. That's true prophecy to hear that from an old man that knew it already.

I grew up chopping wood. I grew up around horses to go and get some wood. I grew up like that. I hunted for my dinner. I snared rabbits. I went fishing. I went and ringed ducks necks you know. Used a little dog to go and track to make them go in the weeds. When I make them go in the weeds my dog will sniff them out. He'll go and grab them and put them in his mouth. I take it from him and if I hear a duck squawking, quacking away someplace, I know he's got a hold of a duck. So I go running over there and I go pick up that duck..

I drowned gophers to eat and I snared partridges. I ate lots of wild turnips. I ate lots of wild onions. I ate a lot of bulrushes, bulrushes soup, choke cherries and raspberries.

I miss those days. Skating on the pond. skating around the evenings. Big bonfire on the side

I always remember Grandfather. He pushed me into my manhood and he taught me the values in life.

I was given a pipe when I was nine years old I feel I wasn't worthy of it, when I was young, but a little older. When I turned into a man, I couldn't, hang on to it. I started being wild after my grandfather passed away. It took a few years of my life, going to jail and trying to straighten out. Twenty years ago I started my life back on that same road that I had left before I started being drinking. When I came back to my life, I've been on it full force now.

He taught me, all the songs that had a meaning in life. I've learned lots of honor songs. I've learned lots of sun dance songs. I've learned lots of Gasnoha songs and ceremonial songs. I've learned how to beat the drum at a certain pace. Those things mean a lot to me, the prayer songs.

My grandfather said, "That's where you help people the most, is when you sing that in the lodge. "